margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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