he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
