well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
