My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize