He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
