he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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