he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
