your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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