I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
In America we eat man semen.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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