Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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