boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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