Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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