so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
