Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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