How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize