Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize