Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
