Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
