I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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