My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
