He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my being single is dangerous.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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