dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
