I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
