U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
