hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you have feelings for this penis?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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