there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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