Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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