she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
