so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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