jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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