I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
