there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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