I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize