I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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