Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i've created a new STD.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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