Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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