Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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