Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
