We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
