Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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