Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
