I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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