were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
