Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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