We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
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Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
3 2 1 whiskey
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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