lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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