I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Success! We fucked roommates!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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