Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
