You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
