Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
