You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
