Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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