idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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