Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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