I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry about my life...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
