i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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