Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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